
Apparently I look like a lot of people. I’m constantly getting told that I resemble celebrities, friends of friends, infamous criminals, scarecrows or sidekick detectives in mid-nineties Canadian police comedy-dramas.
I’ve been compared favourably and unfavourably to the following people:
- Neil Morrissey
- Fred Savage from The Wonder Years
- Gary Neville
- Spurs chairman Daniel Levy
- Johnny Depp
- David Schneider
- Hank Azaria
- Former EastEnders character Tariq
- John Cusack
- Ray Vecchio from Due South
This list is in no way a comprehensive one.
According to people who know me or meet me, I look like every dark-haired man who has ever been on television (for those of you who have never seen my face – the person I look most resemble on that list is Johnny Depp. For those that have seen my face – shut up).
The person I actually look the most like is my doppelgänger. I don’t know if any of you have ever seen your doppelgänger (how would I? I don’t know even who you are), but it’s an unsettling experience. A doppelgänger, as you no doubt know, is a person’s exact double, a replicant of them. They are supposed to be harbingers of evil, of doom. Spot yours and apparently, terrible luck or even death is heading your way. Which can be a real shit for twins.
Luckily I was with a friend when I saw mine, so I could get confirmation that I wasn’t imagining it. It was ridiculous. The man had the same build as me, same height, skin tone, high forehead, everything. He had the same shit haircut and fifties-style glasses. The man was even dressed liked me, cheap grey plimsolls, the lot.
Was it some sort of joke? Had Ashton Kutcher run out of Hollywood celebrities to Punk that he had to get his kicks winding up ordinary blokes from Reading now? Is that what this was?
Had someone spiked my drink and I was now hazily and incredulously staring at some poor elderly woman, simply imagining that she looked like me? Perhaps this was all a figment of my imagination brought on by experimental electromagnetic stimulation therapy, causing the left temporoparietal junction of my brain to simulate dislocated self images?
Or was I just looking at a man who looked a bit like me?
It was that last one – the man looking a bit like me one. But still… It was pretty weird.
If you enjoyed these ramblings, you should be ashamed of yourself and go out and buy a fucking book or something. Or follow me on Twitter.
Oh, and who do I look most like? I’ll let you make up your own mind:

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This Curious Thing was submitted by Steve Charnock, or someone very like him.
You can read more Curious Things, or find out what this Curious Things thing is all about (and perhaps submit your own).




